How many times she must have cried asking for papa and nana (My mother). I still wonder what my wife would have told her about her nana and me. I missed carrying my daughter around .We used to goes to the park to play on hammock or sliding. At the park she made friends. While they all play I sit and watch them. I like their small talk and enjoyed their prank. She also likes going to nearby shop where they sell all fancy chines items. I missed everything about her .My wife was so cruel and selfish. The fact is that she did not want to save our family life .it is her brother and mother who were manipulating her .it is also her family's responsibility to see that our marriage survive.
In India people use marriage for emotional black mailing. Some even use marriage as meat business. Marriage can makes money. Alimony! I missed my Sony Gudiya very much. Her small talks, nursery rhymes, pranks, laughter and her innocent smile…
Once I remember …I bought a packet of mosquito coil and got a plastic Chinese camera free. After I loaded film I took a roll full of snaps of my daughter. "Sony Gudiya… smile please…" Click…click. One day after paying rent I came home and sat on a chair and was thinking how I am going to pay for provisions. Which gold bangle should I pledge now? My daughter came to me with the plastic camera in her hand “papa, smile please…!". I miserably failed to smile. She was trying to take my photo without a film in it. I have found memories of my daughter… If only I had a job …
I had sold my wedding ring to join multi-level marketing [MLM] by paying Rs.3000/-. MLM products were very costly. Only very few customers purchased MLM products. Here in India people are interested in buying cheap and best products. They do not realize that cheap products can not the best product. They are still stuck with cheap and best! Most of the customers brought MLM products only on trial basis.
Nobody wanted to risk his or her money by joining as consultants. Some of the MLM Company had already flopped and others cheated on customers. I went to native place to meet my daughter, I missed her for only five months but I could not recognize her .she was looking thin and sad. Poor soul! At this tender age how much mental agony she might have under gone. I had promised her that as soon as papa gets job I would bring her home. The only promise I could not keep up till date. In my native place Calicut I tried to supply MLM products. I had also tried to recruit new consultant but nobody was interested. Some of the MLM Company had already cheated public. I had lost nearly Rs.5000. Heart broken, I had returned to Chennai. Back to square one.
Back in Chennai, again I went searching for job. Nearby my house there was one electrical shop. Whenever customers came and asked for electrician to repair their appliance. I went and attended their complaints. Shop owner took 25% commission on my labor charges. My little princes remained a distant dream. I have to look after my ailing mother. My wife and daughter stayed with her family in her native place. When my daughter completed three and half years, it was time for her to join LKG. My wife had sent me letter asking for RS 3000 as donation to admit Sony in the nearby school. Whatever gold was available at home I had to pledge in the bank. I had send Rs.3000 as donation. She again sends letter asking for Rs.300 as school fee. I was not able to send her any more money. Here my own survival became a big question mark. I could not meet monthly expenses of RS 2500. Instead of she tried to get a small job just to pay her daughter school fee she started sending me sarcastic, abusive and threatening letter.
She wrote to me. “If my family had to bare mine and your daughter’s food and education expenses why did you get married? I do not need such an irresponsible husband nor does my daughter need her father."
I had no other option but to call her by phone and fire. “It is more than one and half years now since you left my house with Sony. I had to cook food for my mother, wash cloths and dishes. You only wanted to stay at your home and ask for money. Why should I pay you? Did I agree at the time of marriage that I would send you money if you stay at your home”?
When I had money I was managing house and you never had any problem. Now that I do not have a proper job you do not need me anymore. You only need money. Now listen…. There is no free lunch in this world. Everybody will have to work for his/her food. If you still do not realize your responsibilities even at the age of 42; not even god can save you. Have you ever given a thought how parents are bringing up their children? You thought it was only a child’s play. Since you do not need a husband why are you wearing mangal-sutra (Wedding chain)? Give it to me. I will sell it and recover your gold from bank. Since I have to cook and wash my cloths there is no question of me sending money to you. I got married so that the least my wife will take care of me. You know you think you are from aristocrat family. You have an ego problem. Even a watchman is running his family with his meager amount of salary of Rs.1000 or 1500 p.m. His wife does some kind of job support their family. I do not know why don’t you realize who you are? How much money can you earn for our family? Be in touch with reality. Come down to earth. Do not write abusive or threatening letters to me. If you do not want me, get divorce. That is fine by me... I want my child. I will not be able to give my daughter a secured life and good education. I want to put her for adoption. I have no other choice. Period." I had to disconnected the line.
No more letters, No more phone calls from either side. I still think of my little princes. When will I see her? What will I say if she asks me “papa why are you not taking me to ‘our’ home”? The thought its self was nothing but a nightmare. I lost sleep and started smoking too much. I even lost interest in life… I thought of giving up my daughter for adoption, so that she can have a secured life and decent education. The least I will be able to meet my daughter now and then. I do not want my daughter to grow up like her mother. My wife says nothing but lies, talk like an opportunist, riddled with sarcasm and above all she is an egomaniac. She was impossible….