Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Something Personnel

Something Personnel
29-01-13 .02.33 am.

This story is almost six years old .when you wants to write something very personnel on blog it is really scary. What will readers think about me? How will they judge my worth just by reading personnel life? At 56 if I am unable to sort out my messy life it means as an individual I have not grown up .my inability to find answer for my personnel life makes me an immature person for my readers.

Where is the relational thinking in my personnel life? Why I am still unable to conclude my personnel life logically? I know there is a serious flaw in my thinking.

I am the one who wrote ‘we’ Indian parents scarify anything for the future of our children that include our unhappy married life. In my real life I am running away from parental irresponsibility. Why?

It was not me who walked out of my home; it was my wife who ran away with my only little daughter. when I was running the house my wife found fault with me because I could not make '' extra  money. Now she is bringing up our daughter. She will now realize how difficult it is to run the family with single income. When she was with me, instead of finding fault me had she taken Hindi tuition class for children or stitched cloths for ladies and children together we could have saved our small family. Now she would be doing same thing in her native home for survival.

I had never promised anyone in this world but when I make decision over my tears there is no looking back. My wife would have brain washed my little daughter “It is your papa who had abandoned you….”.Let it be like that. Besides I do not have a secured job. My wife and daughter will think it is all because of their fate! As per Indian law a father cannot take custody of his own daughter. It is better my wife teach my daughter about love, compassion and family values.  It would be impossible for me to recover my daughter’s confidence in me. I was a sale cum service technician later I went to write fictions but so far I had not made money out of writing.

"it takes inner strength and courage to persist in the face of adversity. if you can hold on to your dreams long enough , you can make them come true" Roopalen. I am sure more people died without achieving their goal. 

“From the time we were born to till our last breath whether we evolve or not our perception about world constantly changes”. Jivan.

There is an unknown fear, fear of dying like an orphan. ‘Tomorrow ‘is another day; tonight let me sleep peacefully.
Restless soul,
29-01-13 .02.33 am.

N.B: I wanted to write about two incidents. one of our army man was beheaded by Pakistan army for Rs 5,00,000/- financed by Let.

Tamil film 'Vishawaroopam" was banned in Tamil Nadu citing law and order problems just because few fundamentalists found their community was portrayed in bad light. After the approval of censor board how can religious fundamentalists acts like 'extra' judicial power? 

When my own problems are greater than this universe I hardly feel like writing about anything.