Thursday, March 31, 2011


FATE…? 21-12-2009
If I were to believe in fate, I would say fate had played havoc in my life. As a bachelor, I was a carefree man. Theist mistakes accident for fate. They refuse to think rationally. I too met accidents. Fate? Yeah, I met my fate when I saw my wife for the first time. Before marriage, as per Hindu marriage custom I had to see my fiancé.

My mother is an old woman and she insists that I check our (both) horoscope before finalizing marriage. Before I checked with my present wife, I had already seen three other women. Two of them rejected me. They were graduates. Third one? I had rejected her. She was postgraduate but toooooo fat. I hate fat people. Man or woman, he/she should have proportionate body. I have few other fixations too!

Astrologer checked our horoscope and told me” you would better look for other girl. Her horoscope does not suit you. (I am an Aquarian and she is Leo). Out of ten points only six points matches. As per Inidan horoscope, it should be seven or more points for a harmonious life or else marriage will end up in cacophony! We alien do not believe in astrology, numerology and all other irrational things. I believe success of any marriage depends on mutual understanding between husband and wife. After the seven years itch, my wife (fate) left to her native place with my only daughter. I was stirred and shaken.

I had done postmortem on my married life. You can find the final report in “The life of little princess “life/story .A theist will pacify his mind buy saying fate! It is all gods’ wish” he will never try to analyze the situation.

If you believe in fate then do not believe in god. Because fate will take it’s own time.
Read my fate in Less then 32 hours…. I am desperately trying to change my fate.

Three years ago I joined here as a lodge manager. My boss told me that every day first thing in the morning (7a.m) I have to open the daybook. (Credit and debit book) and write “Om Sri Lord Venkateshshara”. If I am forced to do anything, I hate doing it. (Part of me refused to grow up! NOW, DON’T ASK ME WHICH PART OF MY BODY ….... (There is a little boy trapped inside my body, he is the one who refuse to grow up. But Not me!) But what to do? My work is my bead and butter. Yes, I write every day, I am have been writing for the past three years every day first thing in the morning …but this is how I pronounce while writing... “Om Sri M.F Load Venkateshshara…” it had changed neither my fate nor the place where I work. It is not God or anyone who is going to change my fate. (It has been three years since I started writing fiction). It is my effort, which is going to pay me dividend .our lodge is touchwood. It is a family lodge. It had served for 46 years and it will server for another 46 years. We have more than Ninety percent regular customers.

My boss is a Brahmin. (Hindu cast) he is very religious person. He prays like mad and regularly visits temples all over south India. He offers money at the temples. Why? To make more money!

With out checking auspicious time (good time and bad time) he will not start any thing fresh. He will always start work only on auspicious time.

I had seen him seething with anger and causing him self when things goes down the drain. Funny, is not it? .Good times, bad times and shit times! Believe me I am personally experiencing bad time for the past three years. However, I refuse to believe it! Foreign publishers had asked $500 (Rs.25, 000) for publishing my fictions. If I had Rs, 5000 I could have published my fiction at the local press and sell it at the local bookshop or even on the footpath. That is not my idea about selling my books.

While praying and meditating your heartbeats comes down .you cannot beg god with your anger. I had seen people who pray and meditate flare-up like mad man. If you cannot control anger then why are you mediating? When you come out of prayer and mediating you are what you are. You are ill tempered! First, you need to check with your family physician for hypertension, B.P, sugar and ofcouse for pile complaint. One can image the plight of a ‘pile man’. He is sitting NO, he is moving volcano. He might explode any time soon. So, you better K E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E EP … ………… OOOOOOOOOOOFF!

My pop, late Mr.M.Madhavan was a religious man. He used to pray and mediate. Still he was an ill tempered and sadist. He used to beat me black and blue. Once upon a time, I was a young blood. He blasted me and I fired back at him. His feelings were hurt. I forgot the whole incident. Late at night, he came to my room and told me in simple words. “Jivan, think before you open your mouth”! I could sense pain in his voice… he left the room with waiting for my reply. In the middle of night, I was wondering, “what the hell had I told him?

My pop infused gandhiyan philosophy and” truth will triumph “like things when I was a kid through beating. He brought me up with military dictatorship. My roots (upbringing) are the only reason that I had not gone astray in my life. More than twenty-two years ago, he left for heavenly adobe. However, I still follow his words. I think before I blast some one .I do not pray, meditate or even take deep breath to conquer my anger. I use my brain and I no longer act under impulse.

Here is few more example of FATE

Before marriage, my bother did not believe in God. After marriage, he met with an accident at Gujarat. His north Indian driver (official jeep) tries to cut across slow moving bus near an intersection. My brother had seen one lorry over taking bus from the left side! He asked driver to stop. However, from the driver’s side he can only see bus approaching the intersection. He could not see lorry darting across the road form left side. Bus driver also applied break. At the intersection lorry rammed on their jeep .In the impact, their jeep was send off about fifty feet away and twisted out of shape. Luckily, my brother had escaped with three broken ribs and a hairline factor on his pelvic bone. Driver was also hurt but nothing serious. My sister in law brainwashed him by saying because of the power of her prayer he was saved from certain death! Since then he started attending religious prayers and temple. My brother met with accident because of driver’s mistake. Accident can happen to any one, but theist would prefer to call it as fate!

I too met with accident not once but twice . Read, “Accident can happen to any one “.
In India an average man look for virgin girl for marriage .I call it as "Issue over tissue". They think this tissue can make successful married life! Such is the ignorance even among educated man. My wife believes in god. My marriage took place at Guruvayur temple in Kerala, in our traditional way. As per our marriage ceremony, I was asked to pray at the temple. Being an atheist, it was difficult for me to pray, but at last, I prayed! “O God! There should never be any fight between us”! I would say my prayer fell on his (god's) deaf ears. No wonder he was made of stone! My married life went down the drain. I had done postmortem of my married life. Report you will find it in my blog."The Life of Little Princess “A life story. Do you think my married life failed because our horoscope did not match? Read story, it will tell you horoscope has nothing to do with my married life but Globalization had lot to do with my life. People in love and some other religion also do not believe in horoscope and astrology.

If you think so, I will give you another example of my family friend. She got married as per horoscope and had great-married life for sometime. Then, one day her old director husband gives her one time settlement and left her for young actress. With in couple of years young actress made good fortune and left the old director for a young man and settled down in her life. Her ex husband (old director) had nowhere to go. No more movies work for him. According to her, she felt pity for him and took him back .Infact it is other way around. With the money, he saved for his rainy days helped him to compromise which her. Now she boosts about farmland near the beach resort! Now you say U.GAY! (Fate?) U…GAY! (Fate?). If you believe in fate then you should not believe in god, horoscope, astrology, or any other thing because fate will take its own time.

Even before marriage, I had under gone through medical checkup at the prestigious hospital to make sure that I am normal healthy person and I am capable of producing babies. But how can I ask my fiancé to under go medical test to find out whether she is capable of producing babies. If I cannot produce children then I think there is no point in getting married .bit old fashioned. That was my point.

It was impossible for my wife to conceive. Having gone through gynecology and obstriction, master and john son’s book at the age of seventeen, I knew she had medical problem. But she would not listen me. She went temple after temples offered Pooja and prayers. She wasted my hard-earned money. I was sick of my wife's stupidity. At last (After three years) She agreed to visit gynecologist .our doctor was professor of a leading medical collage hospital. I was right. My wife went thorough scanning, test, and medication. She produced weak eggs. After spending more than six thousand rupees, and waiting for ten months our bundle of joy arrived. She named her Ammini. To me she will be always Sony Gudiya (Doll).it was my knowledge about science and technology to seek doctors help. If I had also prayed like my wife for a baby, would I be blessed with my little princess? Now where is the act of god in my married life? Here it is doctor’s knowledge, science and technology and act of Jivan played crucial role.

My wife and neighbors take my little daughter to temple, at the age of two what for my daughter would have prayed? Cookies if not for dolls. Now my daughter is only five years old, when she grows up I will tell her about man made god and religion. My parents also worshiped god .my father was a true Gandhiyan .he never told lies, no smoking, drinks, drugs, prostitution or gambling. Perfect gentleman? More than eighteen year ago, my father had decided to kick the bucket in the middle of night. At 1.38 A.M., he became his ‘story’. Heart attack. My mother also prayed god. Ever since I can remember, my mother was not feeling well. Physically and emotionally. (Depression). If my mother is still alive, it is because of medicine and family support we provided for her. What has god to do with her life? Above-mentioned living examples are given to prove god has nothing to do with human life.