Thursday, August 25, 2011

You ........&.......Me (P-5)

You ........&.......Me (P-5)
You, me and assorted cookies.

Hello Friends,
Publishers are not generous enough. They should encourage budding and struggling writes like me. They should publish book in E-Pub first later it can be published in print mode. In E-Pub prize of the book can be decided by author. Formatting and designing cover page should not be a costly affair. Every budding writer wants their books to be sold at moderate prize. They want volume/ maximum number of reader appreciating their work. It will give them satisfaction and confidence to write better books.

In five years time astrologer would have predicted many good things for Aquarians. There is no change in my working / life style. My life runs with clock precision. Morning 7a.m I am on duty by 11 p.m I am back to my room. 16 hours X365 days. Nonstop. If I predict few things about you, you are likely to agree on few things with me. Here it is.... you are gorgeous, sexy, intelligent and ill tempered. Now you agree with me on three things. Right? Astrologists can not predict human life. It is your blind faith like you believe in god is forcing you to believe in astrology.

My astrologer told me not to get married to her (wife). I did not get married just because I believe in an institution called legally prostitution. It is my belief in ‘success of married life depends on mutual understanding between husband and wife’. My belief was shattered by my wife who had no confidence in me. Hindus and Christian believe in astrology. Still divorce is all time high because of various reason. You will find my Postmortem report of my marriage in my ‘Life of Little Princess’ life / story. Ever though he did not predict reason he had foreseen conflict/failure in our marriage. I checked horoscope just because my mother had insisted. She is Leo and I am an Aquarian. Even I knew we are not compatible as per astrology. In ‘Broken Heart’ facts not fiction (real) I wrote about a Leo woman with golden heart. How comes my wife is diametrically opposite to her?

‘God particle’ may not exist at all –expert. Geneva. Scientists chasing a particle they believe may have played active role in creation of the universe indicated on Monday they were coming to accept it might not exist after all.’

Five year ago when I wrote new religion ‘UNIVESRAL LOVE ‘ I wrote today scientist are after god particle some other day they will be after god’s testicle. ‘A thing beyond human comprehension is called god’. It is a shame scientist call ‘x’ particle as god particle. If scientists world over believe in god they should use most modern technology and sophisticated equipments to find out what the hell is called god. God is our savior. He should be able to save the entire problem on earth.

When we guys were young guns we do things under impulse. Salman khan had popularized six packs. He used to take off his shirts now and then on screen. I was like ‘what this guy is flaunting six packs. I had eight packs way back in 85. Now it is a fad for Indian actors to flaunt six packs.

From 82 to 85 I played at gym. I did not play for bulk. At 5’8’’ if I put on bulk I will look like a midget. I like fiber body with studs and flexibility of Bruce Lee. Heavy weight and less repetition for bulk and moderate weight and more repetition will give you studs and definitions.

I work on alternative muscles. Abdomen and for other muscles. Forty five degree inclined bench I do body curl with out folded knee. I started with ten repetitions. Over the years I had raised it to 24x4 then 50x2. One of the guys at the Gym asked me how much repetition I can do without break. I was confident of doing hundred repetition of body curl. Other guys gathered around me and started counting. By the time I finished ninety two I felt like my abdomen was broken into two pieces. When body sends pain signals it is a warning single. It is time to stop. May be there is some thing wrong or there is some internal injury. I knew I am not going to try hundred repetitions even in my next life. As I completed my hundredth repetition every body started clapping. I too joined with them. It was bloody hell inside my abdomen.

On summer holiday one heavy built guy from collage joined our Gym. He had seen my photographs from our Gym album. He came and introduced himself. He also practiced karate. We Gym guys were fans of Arnold. Like there is only one god. There only one Arnold in the is world! In those days Arnold was our inspiration. In those days only five star hotels had most modern gym. We played on ordinary weights and pulley.

Here is the comparison.

Arnold.................................................... Jivan
Height.... 6’.5”........................................ 5’. 8”.
Chest 57” ..............................................  42”
Biceps 18” ................. thighs 22”
Thighs...28” sexy hip 28”

We used to discuss Arnold’s movie, his pumping iron video was very famous. His routine excise. Weights he uses. Like ...75 pounds for biceps curl!
Sanjay was very much impressed with my eight abdomen studs. He used to punch on my abdomen. One day he asked me whether I can withstand his punch on my abdomen. I though he was kidding. I said O.K and stood one foot away from the wall. Others stopped playing.....

I took deep breath and held my breath. He made semi-squatted ... you know the way karate guys practice punch. He screamed ... YAAAAAA......... HOOOOOO...... the one bloody punch on my abdomen. I fell against the wall. When I regained my composure I waved at them. Every one clapped for me. I noticed fire flies flying out of my eyes. Had I got scared and released abdomen (air) pressure my intestine would have become chatney.

Do you believe in proverbs? I do not believe in it. It does not make sense but only one proverb I had experienced in life! ‘A man without money is as good as dead!’

While reading my tit bits you will think why you never thought of writing what I had to say. Ditto. Several times I felt he / she wrote my words.

I am writing you & me just to keep in touch with writing.