Shades of schizophrenia.
25-07-14
schizophrenia:" you think that you are SOMEBODY but in reality you are NOBODY"!
After finish reading Random Thoughts you are not sure whether you LOVE me or HATE me.
When you are living alone out there in the world you do not think and worry about others. At fifty-eight,I am trying to secure my old age financially. I also need to save some money for my daughter. Even if I am not there my daughter should not think that I never cared for her. My wife is a theist so naturally my daughter also thinks it is all fate that she misses her papa.
Being single there is advantage as well as disadvantage. Advantage is that there is nobody to boss around you. You do not have to worry about others. Disadvantage is that when you fall sick there is nobody to take care of you so I cannot say being single is bliss. When you are alone you think more about you, it is little bit scary. About animal Charles Darwin said' only the fittest will survive ' now it is the same for human being. As long as health permits job is there after that what? Most of us are leading life without even thinking about our old age. How fast time flies!
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I wrote all my fictions for movie production. I took it as challenge to sell it for movie production. even After eight years I am yet to find producer for my fiction .I still smoke two packet of cigarette per day. I will take it as challenge to give up smoking. It is not all about saving money. It is about kicking an addiction. I do not know when I will give up smoking but I will be the happiest person if I can give up smoking.
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I always write about me on my blog. I can only write from my point of view. How can I write from your point of view? I do not even know you personally. All the bloggers write their opinion or their experience with life. It has nothing to do with ‘our’ ego. In my articles you will find me ‘forcing’ you to think or trying to prove that I am right. I am only right from my point of view. From your point of view I may be wrong!
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As I am growing old I am trying to see the other side of the coin. When you see from other side of the coin you will find it difficult to make decision. I will give you two examples. One is from my own life. Here I am not talking you through other side of my mouth. It is a fact not fiction.
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In my story writing carrier I had spent not less than Rs 1, 21,000/- over a period of eight year. Even if I make money my wife will not comes to know of it. I want to become famous! So that my wife will come searching for me. Then I will set my terms and conditions for her. Second thing I want to introduce ‘Universal Love’ The new religion into the world. Now if I introduce ‘universal love’ people will think it is a mad man’s Utopian dream. If I became famous then people think I am making sense. Death and destruction are happening only in the name of Religion, cast, creed or race.
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In ‘Success at Last’ I had lambasted producers and screenplay writers. Now let’s see the other side of coin. If we see ‘new age’ cinema do we see story or story concept in it? At times movie are made out from a ‘leaf of life’ or from a chapter of fiction. Movies are running without story or concept! How can a movie run without story or concept? One of the reasons is proliferation of multiplex theaters in shopping malls. Guys and girls want to spend few hours in the dark. Where else they can have ‘privacy’ in the heart of city? If those movies are running without story or concept then the credit goes to director and the lead actor and actress.
Here is my story concept for you…’A day in lover’s life’. Young lovers date. Time: morning 6 Am to midnight. Camera follows their love life in a day……After party and late night dinner they stay back at five star hotel and indulge in carnal pleasure .After a marathon mating session both of them collapse on bed . He falls asleep between her wide open legs. As the camera gradually zoom out darkness engulfed them. THE END. I bet, my story concept will run on multiplex theaters .love, romance and sex. Love, romance and sex are part of any love story but it is not the whole story. Where is the story here? So movies can be made without a concept/story! Two things will work in favor of movie, director’s presentation and the chemistry between two young actor and actress. So, movies are running without story or concept! New age movie is all about presentation and packaging. Movies with entertainment values are O.K. I hate trash and shit movies. It is an insult on my intelligence.
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One of the Tamil comedy movies is under production. ‘undave kanom’(missing pot). In a village one of the pot went missing! Usually Pot is made of god, silver, bronze, brass, copper or stainless steel. I think more than the cost of pot it is about the sentimental value attached to the pot make the story interesting. I will be watching the movie. It’s been years since I had laughed. Spending Rs 150/-(cost of ticket) for three hours is good for my health. I am more interested to know how the director is able to stretch movie for three long hours. In new age cinema more than story it is all about presentation. How to sustain audience’s interest in movie is the key for successful movies.
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The other day one of the director came and stayed in our lodge. He is a small time director for low budget local movies. In the afternoon leisure time I spoke to him in our lobby. I told him that I had been looking for producer for two of my fiction. He told me that it is very difficult to sell fiction for movie production. Directors need work so most of the Indian directors keep half a dozen screenplays with them and Scot for producer.
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I believe every story writer can work as creative director and visualizer for movie version of their fiction. As a creative director you should be able to modify your story as per the budget of producer or when you set the story in other part of the world as per the culture of their country. It is not possible with every story but if you had written fiction with ‘universal theme’ then it is possible.
As a visualizer you can assist director to design sets with sketches, table top models or with the help of graphic artists for graphic driven movies. In fact without proven track record it is nearly impossible for a writer to work as creative director or visualizer for movie version of his fiction in India. Most of the creative director or visualizer had worked in movie making with proven track records.
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I had suffered severe depression. All my effort went down the drain. At times I used to think...... what to do with my fucked up life? ‘zindagi kutha khaya’(Dog had eaten my life). There is only one way to make out my life. Selling my fictions for movie production but it turned out to be a biggest challenge in my life. India’s leading producers make only commercial movies with entertainment value. They do not like to risk their money by experimenting with new story concept. Young movie producers/directors are willing to experiment with new story concept but neither have they have resources nor technical knowledge to shoot high end CGI or mature enough to handle mature subject.
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In a world full of lairs it would be impossible to trust me. I would have given my fiction for FREE to make movie version provided producer sign on my agreement. If anyone take my fiction for free to produce movie then he can only dream of making movie version of my fictions. Both my fiction 'Eternal love and Broken Heart' cost REAL money to make movie version. I have not yet set prize for my fictions. If I get a chance to work as creative director and visualizer I will sell it for lower rate. There is so much hype about creativity .I just went to prove anyone can be a creative person.
