First Writer 04-12-2009
Friends,
As a writer here, I am writing my frustration and pent-up feelings. Here I am working as lodge manger for more than sixteen hours per day .24X7! I have not time edit this particular article. I had scribbled down what ever came to my mind.
Nobody wrote fictions under tremendous pressure like me. Imagine my wife walk away with your only child. As I could not concrete on work, I had given up my job. I choose to write my first fiction "Little Princess"infact I was forced to write. Fiction writing was my way of escaping from reality.
When I thought about writing, “First Writer” there was initial hic-up. From where to stat writing. I wrote my first semi-fiction “The Life of Little Princess “(life /story) after my wife took away my only little princess and left for her native place. I was devastated .not because my wife left me but she took away my little daughter. To know more you need to read “The Life of Little princess” Life/story. It is about how globalization had ruined our family life and how I became pauper!
Story line.
This life/story was dedicated to my daughter. Story tells us about how globalization had changed an ordinary person’s family life forever. It is also about an aged father's struggle to give his only daughter good education and a secured life. After the court battle for his daughter's custody, will he ever live with his estranged wife?
Only forty percent of the “little princess “is real rest of the story is my imagination. While writing fiction I lie on my bed and write. There was a scene, after the court battle I was allowed to take custody of my daughter. My wife came to me and handed over mangal sutra (her wedding chain) to me. I then hold her hand and placed her wedding chain back in hand. Our only little daughter remains salient spectator for the incident. While writing this scene my tears were dripping on to the page. Some how I managed to write the scene. Imagine, in real life will I be able to face the situation? I do not think so….I wrote this fiction more than three years ago. This fiction has moral lesson for homemakers of India. At the end, you will find you will find “An appeal to home makers… ``Now because of recession more and more homemakers in India realize, it is not possible to run the house with single income. Most of them are taking up job and contributing little bit of money for the welfare of their family. Rest of them watch all the sops on TV and whale away their times.
When people in the west think of India, they think of Bolly Wood, Mumbai Delhi and metropolitan cities of India. For an average middle class Indian it is always a struggle to lead a decent life. If you take an average homemaker in India, they do not contribute money for their family. They look after children and spent time watching sops on T.V. with ever increasing inflation they find it difficult to raise the family that is the only reason more and more homemakers are taking up job.
I wrote “Little princess “for T.V serial thinking my life/ story will help home makers to realize the need to find work for the welfare of their family. After I finished writing, I went to one of the T.V serial production company. Their creative director asked to tell my story. After carefully listening to my story, he told me to write story with entertainment value. I thanked him for giving me a chance to present my fiction and went back home. Even though I like the original ending, for “Little Princess” I wrote two other different ending. It is to pacify the reader’s mind.
After I finished my high school, our family settled down here in Chennai, way back in ‘75. I studied for A/C and Refrigeration course. In those days, I had membership in British council library. I used to read Harold Robbins, Agatha Christi, Strom Broker, Nick Carter, Ian flaming, Sydney Shelton, Master and Johnson and other famous writer’s books. Sorry, I do not remember other writer famous writer’s names. As a teenager, I also read about teenager’s greatest mysteries...reproduction organs its purpose and functions. That includes gynecology and obsticition's book! That was the last time I remember reading novels and fictions.
After I started writing (that was three year ago) I read critic review of books and about authors. Unlike professional writers, I do not write 15 to 20 drafts nor do I take months and years to complete one fiction. First, I think about story concept then I stat scribbling down. Scenes keep pouring in... Most of the time I cannot keep pace with the flow of story. Unlike professional writers I do not write my fiction in written language .I write my fiction in spoken language. I know this is not the way to write fictions. However, I like it. Reading my fictions is like watching movies. My fictions are like me telling stories to some one out there.
Once I finished scribbling down. I start typing it in M.S word in A-4 pages. After that I run spell and grammar check. If I type husband’s… M.S word correct it husbands! O.K may be in the west home makers are having husbands! Here in India it is other way around. We have wifes! Legally married woman is known as wife, all other wifes are known as Stephney. Like your spare car tyres. While writing UNIVERSAL LOVE. The new religion. I had to write about mullah. In those days, I was using window 98. However, spell check keep correcting me. Pullah! OMD! (o’my dog! An atheist is not supposed to say OMG) It is high time that I teach Microsoft the difference between mullah and pullah. Mullah is Muslim religious teacher who teaches Koran at their religious school (madarasa). Where as pullah is fully loaded lethal weapon we men carry between our legs…
Then I do editing and polishing. That is the reason you will find some of the subplots I had finished with few sentence or even in one paragraph. My fiction may lack professional touch but story concept wise I wrote fiction better than so-called professional writers if you are looking for new story concept, you will find it in my fictions. Unlike the professional writer, I am not stuck with one particular genre.
From family fiction I went on to write sci-fi, romantic/action/thriller, political thriller, lesbian love, Pure porn, Horror and about new religion! Universal Love. While most of the professional writers took months and year to complete their novel /fiction I wrote short story “Kathy I Miss you…” (erotic/pron) three and half A-4 pages at a stretch. For “Love is Eternal“, I took two weeks time including typing 50 plus A-4 pages. It is a sci-fi and I cannot effort to goof it up.
Are you a writer? On the other hand, have you written fictions? I am a funny writer. Check whether you write like me… at first I think about story concept. Then I start writing story. Later I write subplots. Unlike other writer, I do not see story in sequence wise! After writing hardly few A-4pages, I see the END! After writing few A-4 pages for “War on Terror” Sci-fi, I wrote spectacular grand finally for War On Terror.
Most of the times half way through I see the end of the story! Then I write the end. Readers can never find the difference nor had I ever goofed up any of my fiction. Then I write middle, right, left and over the page. I write fiction like a scribbling pad. I mean I write what ever come to my mind... just like this article. My “scribbling pad “rough draft looks like a big jigsaw puzzle for other but not for me. You know why I like computer. Copy/cut and paste. After cut and paste I merger story sequence wise. Scenes perfectly jell with each other scenes. Readers will never find out the differences. I like to create surrealistic effect with my fiction. I mix fact with fiction. After reading my fiction, you are not sure whether my fictions are real or reel.
I am not a writer I would rather be called as story concept writer. I like to write main story. Even though I wrote ten fictions, I need a writer to write subplots to for my fictions. One of the reasons is that once I finished writing main story I do not even touch my fiction with a brag pole! The other reason that I am the laziest person. I am like a sloth bear. I like to sleep until sun bake my ass. That is the only time I forget about my worries, frustration and pent up feelings as a writer.
At times story concept struck like lighting. It happens some time while bathing or mediating in the toilet. Then I would be completely lost in thoughts. After that, I come out and scribble down story concept. My story concepts are not more than few sentences, just like my story line of each fiction. After scribbling down story concept... I ask my self “Did I apply soap while taking bath. If I happens to come out of the toilet. I was like “Holly shit! I forgot to shit!” you know toilet is the only peaceful place on earth. It is our own small world. Our statics reports say sixty percent of the Indians do not have toilet. Most of us attend call of nature at the Open University (open space).
As a writer, I am a funny writer. Several times I Burt rice, vegetables and gravy. I wrote all my fictions when I was unemployed. Whether I have money for food or not I need to find money for typing my fictions at browsing center. At the “fag end of my life”, it lasted for three months (before I found my present job) I survived on one loaf of bread, cigarettes and few cups of coffee. When I had no money, I smoked Beedies (poor man’s cigarette). Beedi smoke stinks and it leaves a bad taste in mouth... If you do not keep sucking at it, darn thing will go off. I am addicted to smoking. I will give up one day. Now I am under stress. Finding distributors for my “love is eternal” in India. Getting published my other fictions …I had not seen my little daughter for the past four years. My little daughter might have forgotten me. I had promised my daughter that I would bring her back to ‘my’ home. My own home is my dream. I am working on my dream to make it a reality. So far, it is more than four years. I do not know how long it is going to take…..this is the first time in my life I am working to make my dream come true. “A dream is nothing but a goal with a dead line”. In my case, my goal post keeps shifting! Then how am I going to set the dead line”.
Do you believe in astrology? I am an alien. I do not believe in things, which cannot be explained by scientific methods. It says Uranus governs Aquarians lives. In my case, always situations control my life.
Three years ago, I went to book fair in Chennai with the story line of each of my fiction printed on an A-4 pages along with query/request letter. I met few publishers. After reading, one of the publishers asked me to write about spiritualism or “inspirational” story. Spiritualism is for old and people with bank balance can practice. When I myself struggling to find publisher for my fiction how can I write about “inspirational story?
I have few friends on gather and other blogs. I know in the west reader’s look for professional touch in a fiction. They are not bothered about story concept. So I wrote to two of my friend. Both of them are writers. They asked me to send my fiction.” Eternal Love “I asked then to give professional touch or to develop sub plots. I also wrote to them how to set the story in U.S or Europe. Once they had my fiction, they refused to reply me. I just wanted to know whether they are working on my fiction or not. That was not the civilized way of responding to my letter. Later I found one man with impressive resume. He is holly wood script and screenplay writer. I had asked him whether he would be interested in working on fiction. First, he asked for my term and conditions and he agreed to it. Every thing was O.K. I had sent my fiction. After exchanging, nineteen letter. He said he was sorry... he cannot work on my fiction. Now all these people have my full manuscript with them. A writer will never copy other writer’s fiction he will only use story concept for his new fiction. … Who knows some other day in this blog I will end up writing “how to legally SODO…” On net, you do not have real friends. However, you will meet enough suckers. Here is my quote from my scribbling pad “To help some one you do not need money but you need a willing heart. In this material world you will not find one”. I too had friends here in Chennai. None of them had time for me. What can you do when your friends turned out to be another hole? If you are a theist, you can pray god. I believe in me. I wrote fictions with better story concept. It may take time to get it published.
In India, whether you write to publishers, producers and now fiction distributors. (I searching for book distributors for “love is eternal” in India) you will not get reply from them. I cannot blame all of them because between me and publisher or producer there is some one called secretary. They do not know the importance of the letter. They even refuse to acknowledge my letter. When you send query or request to Indian publisher, they behave like smart A.H. One can always send rejection letter I do think that is the civilized way of responding to letter. Three dozen publishers and two dozen producers! You think my effort went down the drain. Think like me. My query / request letters went between their legs. Have you ever noticed one thing when every thing goes down the drain our inner voice tells us… “Everything will be alright! Only to find further down the drain! The harder I tried the deeper it goes.#@&$!. Usually I send story line for their consideration. Seldom had I submitted manuscript. In the west publisher and producers receive hundreds of letters but they still find time to send reply each of the individuals. That is what I call it personnel touch. It could be a rejection letter, terms and conditions, agreement or even estimate for publishing your fictions. Not all the Publishers in the west rejected my fictions. They send reply to me. My fiction needs polishing or editing starting with 500 USD! It is equitant to Rs25, 000. It was an astronomical amount of money for an unemployed family man. I had no money. Besides, I am from old school of thoughts. I think if publishers feel my fiction can be sold in the market then they should spent money to publish my fictions. Together we could have made some money. In the west most of them study MBA. I think at Yale and Cambridge like university they teach value of money. “Take money first then do the business”. I wrote back … sir, if you feel my fictions can be sold in the market, I want you to publish it at your expense. Later you can recover whatever the amount of money you have spent for editing, polishing and cover page design etc from the sale of my books. (500 USD is only initial amount for publishing .the end product will cost you more than $ I000. As an unemployed family man, I am unable to raise the money. If you think my system will suit for you... you may proceed. Perhaps I am the last man on this planet to realize “No money, No life”. Forget about your wife. She is the first one to disappear. Here in Chennai there is one proverb... “A man with out money is as good as dead” .in this material world it is quite true.
I was happy as long as I was writing .once I finished writing all my fictions being published my fictions became a problem. All most all the publishers asked for money to publish my fiction. Publisher and producers ask for new story concept or story with innovation ideas. When you write fictions ahead of our time, our fictions became untouchable. Edison had said ‘Ninety nine percent perspiration and one percent Inspiration” in my case ninety nine percent despair and one percent inspiration. They are my dreams. Not becoming rich and famous. But to assist director, SFX and CGI artist for my science fictions. Love is Eternal, War on Terror and Broken Heart. (Horror) so that audience will be able to get my kind of vision on screen. An average director is likely to prostitute my science ficton.that should not happen that is the reason I want to work as an assistant.
Rejection after rejection ….I was suffering sever depression.luckly, I was not suffering from maniac depression. I could hardly feel my heart beat. I felt sorry for my heart. It was taking too much of pressure. Unlike others, I could not afford to have the luxury to become mentally unstable. My own family (brother and sisters) and my wife’s family will think instead of looking for job he chooses to write fictions. No wonder he became MAD! You might ask me why I had not taken anti depressant medicines. Here I work as lodge manager for a daily basis. More than sixteen hours per day. 16X365!. People are all ways on the move. I have to keep track of thirty-six room guests. With anti depressant medicines that was not possible.
As an alien my way of thinking and reasoning are different from others. Publisher either rejected if not they send estimate for publishing my fictions. “O.K if not this DOG some one will give me an opportunity to publish my fictions. He is NO DOG. He is NO GOD. He could be either a publisher if not a producer. He sees a business opportunity in my fiction. But there was no such luck. After more than three years I saw the advertisement of publish America on my gmail. With out asking for money they published my fiction “Love is Eternal “and “Love me Tender” Lesbian love story. However, I find it difficult to promote my fictions from across the seas. I am looking for fiction distributors in India. I had even published few of my fictions through POD mode. The result was not encouraging. I found only few buyers. I found difficult to popularize fiction in POD mode
I am only ten fictions old. Each of my fictions are my own creation. I do not need other writer’s concept or their fiction to get inspirations to write fiction. The day I run out of concept, I will give up writing.
Read Less Than 32 Hours to get the big picture.
Friend,
Jivan.
