Between you and me.
24-5-14
1) Writing ‘Thinking wild’ was full of fun. I really enjoyed writing it. You will find my bloody mood swing, frustration and pent up feelings. I wrote my past, present and future! This is the original version. even though I had published God, fate, Karma Etc as small article on my blog sometimes ago you know why I had republished with ‘thinking wild’? Co’s whatever we read over a period of time we will only remember less than ten percent. So revisioning is good for you!
2) God & I and Hope do not exist; I had to modify it before putting it on my blog co’s I could not sell my fiction for movie production. While most of the bloggers brag about their achievements here I am writing my failures. You know why? Any given times there are millions of creative people struggling to get a break. While few of them made it others are still struggling. Rest of them had given up their ‘hope’. Had they read my article ‘Is there life without hope’ they would not have given up their struggle to succeed. Sad, after so many years of struggle they chose to give up on their dreams, ambition and goal.
3) I am sorry.
You will find stupid and sentimental readers of my blog. Some of their feelings were hurt. It was not my intention. I wrote God and me from my point of view .my blog readers encourage me to write. Thanks. I felt I must say sorry for hurting their stupid and sentimental feelings. Remember? I am the one who wrote ‘freedom of expression (creativity) at what cost? On my blog.
4) I am destined to be who I am.
Just for the sake of fun, I had created so much hype for me.
5) Shit happens.
My article will tell you more about setbacks. Never say failure if it was not your fault. Here I will give you one example. When one of my favourite directors Mr James Cameron decided to make ‘Avatar’ fourteen years ago technology required shooting ‘Avatar’ movie was not available. He had collaborated with Sony Corporation of Japan and made one working model prototype camera and they shoot Avatar movie with it. Fourteen years! This is the kind of ‘madness’ you should have if you wants to overcome setbacks and succeed in your endeavour.
More than 140 producers/production house had checked my submission on Ink tip. Almost all of them check log line and short synopsis only. Even if you read few chapters on my blog none of you will understand full fiction. We story writers take weeks, months or years to write fictions or novels. All those producers had time read 120 pages of the screenplay. But not 45A-4 pages (eternal Love) or 30 A-4 pages (Broken Heart) in rtf. I lost 120 USD .fine. Let those producers make trash fictions out of dozens of the screenplay. After that only I wrote an article called 'Shit happens’.
We all know that shit happens. But I do not know why it had happened more than eight long years in my case. All those people…my own family, ex-friends, writers, ghost writers, publishers, producers refused to help me. I had spent more than eight long years and Rs 1, 20,000/- got my fictions published and sold for movie production without their help. I had achieved what I wanted. Today I do not have to say thank you to anyone in this world.
6) Go beyond the breaking point.
Almost everyone has got breaking point beyond that limit most of them break down. Some find solace in a lunatic asylum while others became addicted to drugs. It is easy to say (write) go beyond breaking point but it is nearly impossible to get through. It was really maddening. More than eight long years is very long time for anyone. I felt sick and tired.I had lost my health but I had to prove that I am capable of changing my fate.
7) Is there life without hope?
World over people will tell you to live on hope. I say ...even beggars live on hope. Like your God, hope does not exist! Hope is only to pacify our mind. Yes, I have! I said “I was living without hope. I must be a madman? But not all the mad man made money.Mad man can be found on Indian streets...” If you think like me you too can live life without hope. You all know my life/Fate (Fate is for those who believe in it) depending on the sale of two of my fictions Eternal love and Broken Heart for movie production which I wrote more than eight years ago.
7) Success at last.
It says how difficult it is to achieve success. I have not made much money nor do I become famous. I just sold my fiction for movie production. Instead of saying how many setbacks I had I told you how many stupid things I did just to sell my fiction for movie production. Do you think still think I was stupid or was it entirely my fault?
No one can understand how frustrated I was. Some of the articles I wrote almost three years ago! I could not publish it just because I was unable to sell my fiction for movie production. I am not claiming that I wrote a great story for movie production. Nevertheless 'Eternal Love' is a wholesome family entertainer where the entire family can sit and enjoy watching a movie. Most of the wholesome entertainer movies made money. 'Broken Heart’. Indians are yet to see a real ghost. Can you imagine? Producers with more than three or four decades of experience in movie making do not know which story is movie material! They all are happy producing trash movies out of the professionally written screenplay.
On Facebook they put on ‘kochadiyan’ trailer and received thousands of hits and comments. They ‘marveled’ at ‘new’ technology used to make Kochadiyan. After watching the trailer on comment box I wrote. ‘Best cartoon movie of the year’! I do not have any special talent but when I see quality work I am able to recognise. My talent is in the foam of visualizer. I need the help of the competent director, graphic and vex artists to bring out. Getting a chance to work as visualizer is not easy unless you have a proven record to showcase your creativity.
You will find dozens of discussion on LinkedIn. I only read the discussion from writers, producers and screenplay writers but I do not comment on everything I read. Some people want to leave their digital footprint so they start a new discussion like …” Today is Sunday’. SO WHAT? 16 hours per day! I have been working without a single day break for the past eight long years. Another girl started a new discussion. ‘Today is national masturbation day’! It is a time pass for teenagers. Today I can say what a stupid way to self-indulge. Perhaps that is the only time people find a little bit of 'happiness' in their solitude.
I thought i will write summary of all the articles but i got bored, so i give up!
Jivan
